Destiny & Fate

November, 2007

Two weeks ago I nearly ended my career. I had just picked up daddy from the airport; we were hungry, so I started preparing something for us to eat. I got out a loaf of frozen garlic bread from the freezer and went to cut it in half. It was quite solid so I took out our sharp serrated bread knife. About an inch through the bread, it became extremely tough to cut, so I gave the knife a little added pressure...

A swift cut went straight through the top of my left forefinger right over the knuckle. For a few seconds I stood staring at my cut finger and felt nothing. Then all of a sudden I felt everything... I won’t go over the gorrey details, but I will tell you that for about 5-6 minutes, I could not feel anything in my finger and I thought my life was over. My entire career flashed through my mind...the moment I first picked up a violin, all the years and countless hours of practising with my father, my first performance with my father, the many 24 hour trips driving to New York for my lessons, countless sleepless nights working and practising...and an overwhelming feeling of loss of my life’s purpose. Was this the end? It could not be...this could not be the end! I did not dedicate my entire life to my art only to have it taken by a loaf of frozen garlic bread...

My thoughts wandered through the pain as I desperately tried to move my finger, but I still felt nothing. Then, all of a sudden, a rush of pain shot through my finger and it throbbed with life. I touched the tip of my finger and a wave of relief came over me...I could feel my fingertip! Even the incredible pain was welcome!

In the hour to come, I visited and consulted an ER doctor, Dr.Wong, who cleaned around the cut and put a steristripe (like surface stitches) over my wound and gave me an antibiotic cream. He informed me that I was incredibly lucky to have just missed cutting my tendon, knuckle, and nerve! I could not have placed my cut any other way...and if I had cut any of those, I would certainly not be going on tour any time soon, if ever! What a miracle! :) If that’s not destiny and fate...I don’t know what is!

So for a week I could not bend my finger at all for fear of ripping the steristripe and reopening the wound. Every day I sent pictures to Dr.Wong for evaluation, and I followed strict instructions to avoid infection and further damage. To my great relief, a little over a week later, I was told I could remove the steristripe and start soaking my finger in warm salt water and exercising it. The very next day I performed, though I could not make certain stretches, so I had to change my fingerings and play with limited vibrato! What a life-changing experience!

Now I’ve been performing regularly for the last week. :) My wound has not completely healed over; I still have a little bruising in the area and the wound is still a little sensitive to touch, but I am just incredibly relieved and thankful to be able to practice and perform again!

What have I learned from all of this? ;) Stay away from sharp knives!! Actually, I know it is impossible to live in fear of everything that could harm my hands, but there are certainly things that I can avoid like cutting frozen or difficult things. I also had an epiphany of just how important my music is to me...for those minutes that I could not feel my fingers I thought my life was over...but by some miracle, my finger came back to me and I can now once again do what I was born to do. :) I am ever so thankful and happy!!